Hello Everyone,
As you know we are in China adopting our 8 yr old daughter.
We are finally in Guanzhou and we have 6 days left. We are in need of prayer for our daughter to adjust and begin bonding with us. She is having a hard time and she is greiving. She has formed a bond with another family that has a boy her age and she is much happier when we are with them. I understand that it is confusing to her and she really likes playing with the other boy. It is still hard for me as her Mom. She is distant towards me and will only hold hands with the other family. We are in different hotels in Guanzhou and she was very upset to have to stay with us and go to another hotel although we explained all this to her with our guide.
I can only imagine how confusing and hard this is for her. Please pray that she will begin to trust us and we will be able to bond with her while in Guanzhou.
The point of me and my husband traveling together without any of our children was for the time alone with her for bonding. So far that is not working out well.
Please pray for God to intervene and begin to soften her heart towards us. We are trying very hard with her. Also, please pray for our family during the transistion when we come home and for safe travels and a special time during Christmas.
Thank you,
Melanie and Tim
Guys - prayers offered - but along with that a few words if we may - we'be BTDT 3X now - and we've been 'that other family' once too...
ReplyDeleteHer heart will turn and she will bond with you - just be patient as you wait for that to happen. Right now she has formed what you might call a 'trauma bond' with the other boy and his family - because in part - she's scared to death that if she lets herself bond with you - that like every other time in her life - you'll go away too.
Once she's 'stuck with just you' - she'll turn. Melanie - if you've spent any time in hospital nursing - you've seen that kind of bond form with patients you've had...
hang tough - be strong in your love - and the other family is also an adoptive family - they'll understand if you need to say something like "please turn her back to us every chance you get to help us bond with her" - I promise - they'll 'get it'!
prayers will continue - and many hugs -
aus and co.