Jaidyn looking at the Chimp in the second picture. He looked like an old wise sad soul.
Jaidyn and Baba looking at the baby chimps. I caught her by suprise to get a picture. She hids from the camera and does not want a picture taken. We found out later that she gave us a hard time at the zoo because she only wanted to watch the monkeys. Oh well, If we had only known.
Haiving a heart to heart with Momma and our guide on the phone. Please be a good girl and have fun at the zoo.
Jaidn loved the Tigers.
Jaidyn and Baba riding the hose and carraige together.
Jaidyn loved the rides and cars. She was better after that and some ice cream always makes things better.
We finished our trip to the zoo with the animal show. I am not sure if you can tell, but this is a black bear riding a bike. They had a hook in his mouth to control him and when he did a trick they gave him a treat but led him with the wire hook in his mouth. It was a sad, sad thing to witness. Cruelty to animals...anyone???Where is the spca animal cops when you need them? They also had monkeys riding a bike too and that was tolerable I guess, but the bear just broke my heart. SO sad!! They also had the Tigers jump through the hoops and some other animal tricks. I could not get over the bear. They also made the bear walk a tight rope carrying an umbrella.
Finally, the Panda made the trip worthwhle...well, except for the behavior problem and the terrible, inhumane animal show. I know Jaidyn was confused and had never been to the zoo before so she did not know how to experence it. I think it was overwhelming and she can't understand us so that does not help anything. I am happy to report that she was 100% better today and even held my hand.
We are making huge progress. Only 2 more days until we come home!!!
We are making huge progress. Only 2 more days until we come home!!!
Good morning guys - OK - progress!! Celebrate that - and perhaps a tad of wisdom from an old hand....
ReplyDeleteOur adopted kids are - in fact - "old souls". They have experience more difficulty in their young lives than many experience in a life time. From that perspective....
The key to a sucessful adopting - domestic or international - is patience - and maybe a little "oscar worthy" acting.
You need not be embarrased about anything your child does - they are the "do-er" you are just being there for them. If they want to have a melt down feel free to plop down right in the middle of the sidewalk, put the child on your lap, and hold them until the melt down is over. No one will care - either in China or the US! No need to be embarrassed helping a child through a tantrum - just feel good about it!
And finally - understand that your daughter is responding out of fear. She really DOES want a mom in the worst possible way - but she's so afraid - because everyone - and I mean ABSOLUTLY EVERYONE who has ever been a mother to her - has gone away. If she caves in and loves you, well, you'll go away too. She knows that - because we all are who we are and know what we know - based on what we have experienced.
So the process works like this - wait. In time she'll have language (english), and words will help. In time she'll have sufficient experience to learn that maybe she was wrong and you won't go away like all the others. And then - she'll learn to trust and express the love that she has for you.
You see - she does love you - but she's afraid that if she shows it or even admits is - everything will go all wrong again.
Tell her that in English - she'll feel it even if she doesn't understand it.
Shed your embarrassment - caring for a child where ever and what ever they are doing - is nothing to be embarrased about.
And regardless of how frustrated, hurt, or even angry you feel, know that she's loving you as best she can right now. It's your job to "fake it til she makes it"!
hugs - prayers for continued growth - and for the patience that y'all will need!
aus and co.
Dear Aus,
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that your comments and encouragement have helped me so much and I truly appreciate your kind words. I had to remember that it was about her and not me and see things from her perspective. Thank you for your help!! I needed to hear everyword!! I hope you read this comment!
Melanie
Dear Aus,
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that your comments and encouragement have helped me so much and I truly appreciate your kind words. I had to remember that it was about her and not me and see things from her perspective. Thank you for your help!! I needed to hear everyword!! I hope you read this comment!
Melanie